hanging yourself with management slanguage

“this all being derived from an operational risk management assessment.”

I was revisiting an old post [Ambulance at Wendy’s], and this phrase jumped out at me.  all by itself, it’s not a bad phrase, though likely to induce eye-rolling.  hearing it come from a CIA operative, or a Homeland Security bureaucrat, or a business executive, it would be enough to rouse contempt but not enough to blog about.

but the way it was mashed between two other sentences/ideas, you have to wonder if it wasn’t Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V‘d from some powerpoint slide deck that was distributed by management to whoever it is that is responsible for answering email from the public…  from the email:

With this being said I’m sure you can agree that a person’s life is more important then any of the above mentioned problems.in the time limit to stop and eat at a fast food restaurant.,this all being derived from an operational risk management assessment. Hopefully, when and if you ever need an emergency service, I hope you never do, that all the equipment is in working order,to include the vehicle being able to start, thanks to a crew making sure that their equipment is charged up by keeping the vehicle at the propper engine speed tus keeping the batteries in good working order.

“this all” would have to encompass the entire span of situational awareness, including not only the state of the vehicle in question (running unattended in the parking lot for about 15 minutes), the environmental impact (which they assured me was minimal because “diesel’s low sulphur emissions means any carbon will stay close to the ground” — which sounds suspicious to me), the economic impact (I was concerned about the cost of gas/diesel to the county, and this was before diesel peaked at $4.73) but also the fact that these EMTs went into Wendy’s to hunker down for double-cheesburgers with bacon and mayo.  I wonder how all that yummy sodium, cholesterol, and fat played into their risk assessment.

tune in next August for “what I really, really think of EMTs at Wendy’s and the administrative support staff that cover for them”

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