George Carlin on Hockey

One of the guys on my hockey team forwarded these — I haven’t validated the quotes, but it sure sounds like Carlin.

People think hockey is a sport. It’s not. Hockey is three activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around with a puck, and beating the sh*t out of somebody. If these guys had more brains then teeth, they’d do these things one at a time. First go ice skating, then fool around with a puck, then you go to the bar and beat the sh*t out of somebody. The day would last longer, and these guys would have a lot more fun.

Another reason why hockey isn’t a sport is that it’s not played with a ball. Anything not played with a ball can’t be a sport. The only other place you’ll find a puck is in the urinal to control the smell in the bathroom.

Which reminds me of a dissertation on urinal pucks vs urinal cakes…  what was the final decision on that, guys?

Also, I hate to disagree with a dead man* but there are numerous sports that aren’t played with a ball; for example: badminton, horseshoes, and NASCAR.  So there you go.

[* that’s not really true, I have no problem with it.]

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “George Carlin on Hockey

  1. Pingback: Hockey News Aggregator » George Carlin on Hockey

  2. killer

    think we decided on cake, although since it is not edible, I refuse to give in! long live the urinal PUCK!!

  3. killer

    by the way badminton, horseshoes and nascar are all hobbies…not sports…the only one of those that could possibly be a sport is badminton. which leads me to an idea for a post…how do you define a sport? hmmmmm

  4. Badminton not a sport? It’s no different than tennis, save for the ball! You’re incorrigible.

  5. killer

    if you could read you’d see that i said : the only one of those that could possibly be a sport is badminton. that means that on your list it is the only one that IS a sport…i pity the fool!!

  6. you’re right in that I didn’t read past the first sentence when you said, “by the way badminton, horseshoes and nascar are all hobbies…not sports” — after that, I hardly expected you to recant and say that it could possibly be a sport.

    so bad on me for not reading the whole thing, but in my defense your first assertion was that it was just a hobby.

  7. killer

    so you made an ASSumption…

    bad you indeed

  8. killer

    hockey is an american sport anyway…what do you care? america rules in all sports!!

  9. what?!? hockey = American?
    [dumbfounded]

  10. killer

    yes you responded to my dumb troll comment..HAAAAAAAA i win this time….

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