Middle Ages

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called… life

  1. Filling out the snowboard rental form, I look for something less than “Advanced” and more than “Intermediate”… and realize that they need a category between the two called “Old”.  I might have been Advanced 10 years ago, but now I’m “Smart” and won’t be getting airborne for more than a few inches at a time.  This “Old” category would also absorb those who may have been Intermediate for a time, but who now can rightly claim a higher perch due to the fact they’ve been snowboarding since before the punk who is renting them their board was born.  Word.
  2. My new favorite radio stations are George104 and The Globe: “World Class Rock”.  George plays “70’s 80’s and whatever we want” (oooh, Rebel Rebels) and that J.Peterman guy from Seinfeld does their intros.  The Globe is the first “green-focused” radio station, so during their SaveTheEarth PSAs I can check what’s playing on George104.
    Both of these stations caught my ear with something unique; the Clash (but not one of their typical hits), Madness, The Cure, and something else that made me say “hey, this station is just like me!” — but today I found myself rocking out to John Cougar Melloncamp, Poison, Davie Bowie, that piano guy that played with the Grateful Dead with the song about “welfare lines” (Bruce Hornsby), and Prince (“When Doves Cry”, and “Kiss” AND)…  Somewhere in the middle of “Let’s Go Crazy” I realized that this would be the music my daughter would mock me about.  And I’m not even a huge Prince fan.  After a moment of resignation, I prepared to air-guitar the final wailing riff.  I could almost feel the purple rain.
  3. Top five ways that my wife and Prince are similar:
    1. They both love purple
    2. Both are 5′ 4″*
    3. Both weigh 120 lbs*
    4. Both dropped their legal names in favor of a symbol in the 90’s to get out of an unfavorable personal-services contract**
    5. Neither one exposed themselves during the Superbowl half-time show, though my wife did feed the baby during his set (technically neither a “wardrobe malfunction” nor a “show”, as she has to periodically remind me).

So I’m coming to terms with my middle-aged-ness.  A book I read recently said that the American code-word for ‘youth’ is ‘mask’; that we feel like we can be young by wearing/doing certain things.  Snowboarding would probably be one of those things.  Air-guitar in the car is certainly one of those things.  What are your things?

I hope I die before I get old.

hat tip to Bryan
* just kidding — he’s shorter, she’s lighter…  but they’re close
** not at all true of my wife

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1 Comment

Filed under aging

One response to “Middle Ages

  1. Jon

    Even at 29 I’m starting to feel the ‘Old’ bit coming on… We played a Fall Out Boy song at church, and I’ve got to say, I just don’t get what these kids are listening to these days….

    You can beat the mockings, though, just come to Vegas and bring your daughter to a Prince show (with little-tiny earplugs) then it will be a memory for her too, and she’ll be stuck in a cycle of good music, God only knows how bad the music will be by the time she is interested….

    Funny read, good to have you back!

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